if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
