If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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