you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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