3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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