I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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