So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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