just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
