I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
