Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
