so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
