Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
