I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
