We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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