how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
did i just pee glitter
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
