had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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