Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Randomize
