I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
