totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I touched a dick in church today
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
