Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
