Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You pole danced in your parka.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize