Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
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