i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
and she was petting her beer can
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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