Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
