I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
