fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
