we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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