White coat. Heels.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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