The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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