Farmville is her only friend.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
