So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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