I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
