The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
