I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
