i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
