i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
