Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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