She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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