some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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