Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
