hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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