True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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