if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
