1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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