Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
