I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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