you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just high enough for therapy.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
