This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
