he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
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He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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