Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
