what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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