She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
