Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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