i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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