Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
