that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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