I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
