her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Ketchup is God's man juice
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
this will be a night to untag.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
