Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
