Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
where does the pee come out of this thing
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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