Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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