blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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