I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
